A Trip To The Eye Doctor

You would think after 20 years of visiting eye specialists that I could get through an appointment without crying. Just sitting in the chair triggers a familiar anxiety in my gut. It starts with a simple eye test just like the one you take at your annual eye appointment. Immediately, my imagination takes over and goes to a very dark place. I self diagnose myself and hear the doctor telling me, “the RP is progressing and it’s time to really discuss what this means for your future.”

The truth is I am nervous as hell. I keep chanting over an over the same mantra in my head, “you are tough; you can do this!” These are the same words I share with my boys every time they fall or tell me they can’t do something. It’s not always easy to practice what you preach.

After an hour of tests, I finally sit with my doctor to discuss the results. My appointment was a follow-up to check on some swelling they found in my eye, which is one of the side effects of RP. As the retinas die, they sometimes cause inflammation, which in turn impacts the quality of your vision. My doctor wanted to put me on a medication to shrink the swelling, but I am allergic to sulfa and it is a sulfa-based drug. We decided to wait it out and see if the swelling subsided on its own.

Instead of hearing the cynical words being spewed in my head my doctor says, “looking good. Your vision is holding and most of the swelling is gone.” Who knows, maybe it’s Murphy’s Law – think the worst to receive the opposite outcome. In this case, I’ll take it. Today, the tears were for nothing.