It’s the Same Just a Bit More Complicated

Getting from point A to B is a simple process. You can fly in an airplane, drive a car, walk, ride a bike, skateboard or scooter, take public transportation, etc. What makes this simple? You do a little research, figure out the best solution to land at your end destination, and lastly make it happen. However, when kids enter the equation, it complicates everything and this has nothing to do with being blind.

My morning: Ari decided to give us the beautiful gift of sleeping in this morning until 7:20 a.m. I thought my eyes were playing trips on me when I looked at the clock. I fell into my morning routine and realized Noah was still slumbering away and it was 8 a.m. My fabulous gift was now a thing of the past because I needed to give all my brainpower to strategically figure out how to get everyone from point A to B. The clock was ticking and time was running out.

First, I decided to be realistic and recognize there was no way in hell that Noah was making it to school on time unless I could throw him in a car. This was not an option for three reasons. It was a typical foggy San Francisco day; Ron takes the car to work; and I’m not really driving these days.

While the strategic plan was evolving in my head, it looked really messy. I continued to plow through the morning routine:

* Got everyone dressed
* Made breakfast
* Made sure everyone actually ate
* Put Noah on the potty for his morning business
* Made lunches
* Packed Ari’s bag for the nanny share
* Packed my computer bag for my afternoon meeting
* Remembered last minute it was “Sharing Day” in Noah’s class and he needed to bring something he got on vacation to share. Good thing I jogged the memory for this or else I’d be put on the “worst mommy” of the day list.

Finally, I stop and looked at my watch. Oops…it’s 9:10 a.m. and Noah starts school at 9 a.m. Walking is no longer a valid option, which screws up everything. How was I going to get everything that needed to be transported (Noah, Ari, double stroller for nanny share, Noah’s lunch box, Ari’s bag, my bag, and a box of work files) from A to B? My solution was take two trips. It was by no means efficient, but decided to take the path of least resistance.

Next, I throw a little money at the situation. I call a cab and not soon after a cab/SUV pulls up. I realize this could be the complete answer to my dilemma this morning instead of one piece of the solution. However, it required me jumping off my current course and going back inside to retrieve everything listed above to throw in the taxi. I was exhausted thinking about loading everything into the taxi and navigating two kids. I stayed on course and piled us all in the taxi.

Sigh…we are on our way to school, but now what. I call school, explained the situation, and asked if they would meet me at the side door to take Noah to class while the cab waited for me. I am sure this was an unorthodox request for them, but they were more than happy to help.

When Ari and I returned home, to our surprise, we found that Ron had not left for work. This worked in my favor, because he could drop Ari and I off at the nanny share on his way to work. It saved me a 20 minute walk with a bogged down stroller!

Ari is delivered to his final destination and I head to my meeting. I am 45 minutes early, which never happens. I am feeling quite proud having navigating quite a morning. I’m enjoying the quite morning hum in the coffee shop and writing this blog entry when my phone rings. It is the preschool to inform me that Noah has 102 fever. Wow…I moved mountains (or what felt like mountains) to get Noah to school this morning only to pick him up an hour and half later. If I had a received the morning memo that he was going to be sick, I would have left him in bed!

It is now almost two weeks later that I am finishing this post, because Noah ended up having a fever for six days. It resulted in three trips to the doctor and numerous tests with no “real” diagnosis. It was a virus!

Guess what! Ari woke up this morning with a fever. The fun starts all over again tomorrow morning as I navigate getting from point A to B with one sick kid, one healthy kid that needs to get to school, no car, etc. I’ll make a plan and obliterate about 10 times before choosing one that works for that moment in time. If the moment escapes us, we will probably need a new plan. I don’t know about you, but I am exhausted just thinking about tomorrow morning. Good night!

A Trip To The Eye Doctor

You would think after 20 years of visiting eye specialists that I could get through an appointment without crying. Just sitting in the chair triggers a familiar anxiety in my gut. It starts with a simple eye test just like the one you take at your annual eye appointment. Immediately, my imagination takes over and goes to a very dark place. I self diagnose myself and hear the doctor telling me, “the RP is progressing and it’s time to really discuss what this means for your future.”

The truth is I am nervous as hell. I keep chanting over an over the same mantra in my head, “you are tough; you can do this!” These are the same words I share with my boys every time they fall or tell me they can’t do something. It’s not always easy to practice what you preach.

After an hour of tests, I finally sit with my doctor to discuss the results. My appointment was a follow-up to check on some swelling they found in my eye, which is one of the side effects of RP. As the retinas die, they sometimes cause inflammation, which in turn impacts the quality of your vision. My doctor wanted to put me on a medication to shrink the swelling, but I am allergic to sulfa and it is a sulfa-based drug. We decided to wait it out and see if the swelling subsided on its own.

Instead of hearing the cynical words being spewed in my head my doctor says, “looking good. Your vision is holding and most of the swelling is gone.” Who knows, maybe it’s Murphy’s Law – think the worst to receive the opposite outcome. In this case, I’ll take it. Today, the tears were for nothing.

My Daydream

There are moments I long for the past and simpler times, but who doesn’t. Life has become so complicated for all of us regardless if it’s driven by society, our own stupidity or in my case a pair of eyes that are loosing steam.

I sometimes daydream about shrinking in size to be a toddler and completely dependent upon my parents. I look at my son Ari who is almost 17 months old and think, “what a great life!” The truth is even Ari at such a young age has had his share of complications. He has a non-threatening kidney problem that put him in the ER twice already and keeps him on antibiotics indefinitely. He still leads an amazing, carefree life, but it brings me back to reality that even my pint size little cherub has his plight.

My other favorite daydream is imagining myself pounding fearlessly down the ski slope at Jackson Hole in Wyoming. It’s been a long time since I felt the rush of tackling the moguls on a steep black diamond and feeling that annoying yet rewarding burn in your thighs. At the end of the day, it’s just you against the mountain.

In my hay day, I was an avid skier that could hang with the best of them. Unfortunately, my grace on the mountain has diminished over the years and I’ve moved from the blacks to blues. It’s a bit of a blow to my ego, but the new reality with my eyes quitting on me.

This winter I hope to create a “new reality” for myself and learn to ski as a “blind skier.” I don’t know much about it yet, but there is a course and it is possible.